Pain
by PsychoBrunette
Summary: <html><head></head>Angel remembers, and vows to be better. dealing with pain and getting over it. spoilers to Angel epilogue . one-shot</html>


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Maximum Ride but this is my idea **

**Ok don't yell at me for not working on Fighting Destiny I got bored and had this idea. Takes place after Epilogue at the end of Angel when she like died but then she is in a body cast and the evil people are talking to her**

Pain. That's all she could feel anymore. Unbelievable, unbearable pain. They had saved her but, she wished they hadn't. They had fixed her body, and given her plenty of pain meds. But the pain was still there. In her heart. In her soul. She could feel it, looming over her. She could try to be a rock, try to be strong like Max. But the pain didn't go away. It waited for her to weaken. And then it swooped. Crushing her. Bringing her to her knees. And when she couldn't take it anymore, she screamed. She screamed and thrashed doing anything to bring them. And they came, sedating her. Sleep was her only escape. In her sleep she could dream of better, happier times. Times where she didn't have to hide. Didn't have to carry the burden. The burden of knowledge. The burden of power.

They told her she would lead. They told her she would replace Max. But she didn't want to. Ever since that first day, where she had seen the glimmer of a thought, that she, Angel, would make a better leader. But it was a lie. Coaxing her, trying to make her betray her friends. No, her family. No, her flock. Her flock that she loved so much each and every one of them. And they loved her. And there the pain was again. Because she knew her flock thought she was dead. She had failed. Yes she had helped save thousands. But she had almost died, been so close to death, only to be whisked back to life again to take a role she no longer wanted. A role meant for Maxx.

It had always been meant for Max. Even despite the crippling pain she could see their minds. They all wanted Max. She knew that Max had not been made for this role. It had been made for Max. But then she grew up. Jeb rescued her and her whole perspective changed. She was against them and she would never help them. She would do it her way. The right way. And by the time they realized that it was too late. She was against them completely would never trust them. So they took the youngest. The one most likely to be changed, the one most likely to follow. They also knew she was powerful. They needed her power. And they knew she loved Max, wanted to be just like Max. Which was why she had been so accepting at first. So accepting of the idea that she not Max was meant to lead. They told her she could be the next Max. A better Max. But no one could be Max but Max. Not even Maya, Max's clone would ever meet the standards set by Max.

They worshipped Max. The white coats, the world leaders too. They saw her not for who she was, but what she was. Not a girl, but a mutant. Not a wonderful, loved and respected strong-willed leader, but a mutant with potential. Not a kind, compassionate, loving person, but a mutant who happened to be good with kids. They didn't see her as herself what she had become, but as what they had made her to be. They believe, each and every one of those awful, bloodthirsty scientists, that she was entirely theirs. That they had made her what she was. That she was only as she was because they had made her to be that way. But they were wrong. Max was what she was because of her actions. Sure most of her actions were choices she had made after the scientists screwed something up and she had to come along and fix it. But they were still her choices. The only influences she had accepted were the influence of her flock. Max learned from every one of her experiences and from every experience she came away better.

Unlike Angel who could be manipulated and twisted to fit anyone's needs. But she was learning to be like Max. She forgot most people's thoughts after a while. But not Max's thoughts. She remembered each and every one of Max's thoughts held on to them. Hey were precious to her. She knew Max still loved her. She didn't trust her. But being around he scientists Angel had learned how to reverse her powers, to show others her innermost thoughts. You could lie on the outside. But you can never lie on the outside. Angel knew that next time she saw Max she would make her believe that everything she had told her was true and Max would know. And Max would forgive. Maybe not forget but forgive.

And forgiveness would be sweet, beautiful. Forgiveness would be an escape. Yes with forgiveness she could escape the pain. With Max smiling at her and helping her be good again the pain would slowly fade. Maybe the pain would always be there. But it would fade given time and love. Love. She missed it she wanted he flock to love her and believe her. She wanted to be their Angel again. Not an Angel of Darkness as the scientists were beginning to call her. They said she was their Dark Angel. But she would be an Angel of Light.

She no longer wanted to be exactly like Max. She wanted to help people and love them and spread joy. She still wanted to help save the world. But she no longer wanted to lead it. She wanted to heal it. Waned to heal the world that had hurt her so many times. The people, who had hurt, ridiculed, deceived her. She wanted to be good. To give back after taking so much. To help after betraying so many. She wanted to heal. Heal not just the diseases, the broken arms, the burst livers. But heal the pain on the inside. The pain of a broken heart. And she resolved to be kinder. To be an Angel of Light.

And over the next few weeks she learned. She read all of the doctors' minds seeking for every way to heal. She tested the limits of her power and learned she could absorb the knowledge from the books, from any inanimate object. She learned everything she needed to know, until she was probably more qualified than any of the doctors taking care of her. She knew she was ready. Ready to heal. And she promised herself to stop fighting to go along with what they told her. To pretend until she was better. Pretend until she got the chance. Got the chance to betray the betrayers. Then she would heal.

And she would no longer be just Angel. She wouldn't be Angel the betrayer. Or Angel of Darkness. Not Angel leader of the flock. No. she would be Angel of Light. Angel the healer. And she would make sure no one ever felt her pain.

**Tada! Isn't it just lovely? Hope you like it! Please review people I love it when you do! This was an idea in my head and I'm very happy with how it turned out. Thanks for reading! Please review! The button right below. I made the arrow colorful this time! :D:D **


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